Wisconsin and Metamorphosis

I've gone to Wisconsin to apprentice in a martial arts/survivalism/lifestyle change program called Metamorphosis. As part of the program, I'm encouraged to write daily to exercise my ability and interest. So, I will transfer the couple journal entries I have so far and continue the practice here on blogspot, sharing my thoughts and experiences. As you can tell, I haven't been keeping to the one writing a day yet:( -I'll post the few loose ''guidelines/requirements" in my next blog
My first journal entry was rather abstract and just some thoughts/concerns/concepts that were rolling through my mind:

  I'm here.  Yet it is that as I look around I can't help but still feel lost.  I've sought this place for decades while traveling no further than my mind, but feet given flight to fancy I still feel myself set adrift as I simultaneously abhor the rigidity of my cyclical, perpetual plight.  What is it that I feel so disconnected from and am constantly evading?  Is it the same set of circumstances extrapolated onto new environs or had I just previously found such solace in mental dissolution and distraction that given the unexpected escape from self-imposed tethers I've only fled to find my own, seemingly ancient, ambitions as alien as the stagnation I'd once yearned to set aside?  I hope it is only habit that haunts me and given the opportunity to breathe I'll inevitably awaken to the opportunities that await me.  First, though, I must set aside the filters and open myself to the pure primal reality that has been my pursuit.