Immersion

  I'll share a few of the "guidelines" I'm to work on for the program I'm in, and then share my journal entry pertaining to my day out in the woods (last friday went out at noon with bare necessities to spend the day collecting materials and acquainting myself with the environment, and spending the night in a "debris shelter" consisting of sticks and leaves--which turned out very cold! I started the night comfortable in it curled around a couple of the river stones I'd let heat in fire all day, but around midnight or 1 am they'd cooled and I woke freezing to have to go find more fire wood so I could lay out in front of it and have to get up sporadically to go collect more)

General Guidelines
*The domesticated mind waits
-Keep mind pliable and engaged
*The domesticated mind flits over everything
-Open mind and awareness
*The domesticated man is lazy
-Seize every moment mentally and physically
-Intensify every activity

Specific Guidelines-Each day
At least:
*1 hour of "silent sitting"
*1 hour of intense workout
*Write
-Create something and make it meaningful
*1/2 hour reading current book
*Practice restraint. Forego 1 desire

Journal Entry

  I've spent quite a bit of time outdoors, but there was something simultaneously palpable and surreal about setting off to spend the day and night in the woods with not much more than the bare necessities. Perhaps it was just the mental significance that had manifested in anticipation. Maybe it was the anxiety of placing boundaries and limitations on the excursion. After all, it's not like I'm not more than a few hundred yards from modern convenience and assistance, but I couldn't help but acknowledge my trepidation as I set out on such a simple task.
  I think one of the more significant considerations was a concern over the perceived longevity of the experience. This worry nagged at the back of my mind as I "made camp" and set about collecting fire-making materials. 'Time' automatically became substantial and I couldn't help but be curious of the duration of each itemized task, conscious that if I rushed things or aggressively undertook each agenda, I'd find myself whittling away every passing moment when I found myself without an objective. Surprisingly, it would seem I had no cause for concern.
  Firewood collection proved to be a tedious. . . no, that implies dissatisfaction with the duty. Let me instead say that it proved to be an arduous undertaking. I do believe in my current [un]condition that the hill atop which my shelter perched would have been strenuous enough without the snow, but the presence of which only further contributed in vexing my sorely neglected anatomy. It felt good. I was accomplishing an imperative while strengthening a modern-society superficial that would ultimately prove to be an imperative in my personal pursuits. Body as brought to near exhaustion, testing the stamina of the mind to persevere. It was exhilarating. So much more motivating than moving some dead weights or walking/jogging/running toward some personal preference. Yet tired as I was, I still wished to explore the new terrain and so I set off to collect some stones from a stream to haul back to my hill before heading off on a more leisurely investigation of the area. I was foiled by the rock walls I'd come to conquer(ok, it was actually my own temerity and tired muscles that impeded that desire) but managed to perch myself in a seemingly precariously perched tree that apparently had its own idea of "up" in mind. For the first time in my life laying back on a horizontal limb, I reclined and read for a while before finally retiring to make bracelets and maim myself in the process. A day I'd dreaded would be too long was as bearable yet more fulfilling than any other, and so ends my first solitary sojourn into the not-so-wilderness.

Wisconsin and Metamorphosis

I've gone to Wisconsin to apprentice in a martial arts/survivalism/lifestyle change program called Metamorphosis. As part of the program, I'm encouraged to write daily to exercise my ability and interest. So, I will transfer the couple journal entries I have so far and continue the practice here on blogspot, sharing my thoughts and experiences. As you can tell, I haven't been keeping to the one writing a day yet:( -I'll post the few loose ''guidelines/requirements" in my next blog
My first journal entry was rather abstract and just some thoughts/concerns/concepts that were rolling through my mind:

  I'm here.  Yet it is that as I look around I can't help but still feel lost.  I've sought this place for decades while traveling no further than my mind, but feet given flight to fancy I still feel myself set adrift as I simultaneously abhor the rigidity of my cyclical, perpetual plight.  What is it that I feel so disconnected from and am constantly evading?  Is it the same set of circumstances extrapolated onto new environs or had I just previously found such solace in mental dissolution and distraction that given the unexpected escape from self-imposed tethers I've only fled to find my own, seemingly ancient, ambitions as alien as the stagnation I'd once yearned to set aside?  I hope it is only habit that haunts me and given the opportunity to breathe I'll inevitably awaken to the opportunities that await me.  First, though, I must set aside the filters and open myself to the pure primal reality that has been my pursuit.

Cultural Catabolism

Beaten
brow-streaked
I raise my face to the warmth of light
and am blinded.
Digging in heels
calloused and bruised
I trudge the slippery slopes
but am constantly undermined.
Clinging to ingenuity and resourcefulness
marked qualities become commodities
I strive to excel by merit of character
but find my progress impeded.
Maggots scavenge an ill-begotten trail
maws of apathetic malice
Consuming all that lies before them
and perpetuating my plight.
Furtive movement beneath the rubble
selfishness and deceit
They praise their parasitic predecessors
the defecation dragging at my feet.

Hate

The dark ethereal tide,
A malevolent force,
Seeps into minds abroad;
With its malignant germ,
A seed of corruption,
It encompasses souls.
The deadliest disease,
Cataract of the mind,
It fades one's perception;
The bellicose virus,
Havoc on common life,
Impairs one's self control.
Perceivable to none,
An invisible trait,
It strikes without hindrance;
Spreading rage and chaos,
It rolls across the land,
A dark ethereal tide.

Primal

Cold and callous
Your regard seeks to maim
That which is hot
Yearning to tame.
I approach from a distance
Cool and aloof
But tendrils of lust
Bely ill-concealed proof.
Talons dug deep
You rend me asunder
Craving to expose
While dragging yourself under.
You've ignited my fire
Now you'll succumb to my flame
Cold tears giving way
To the heat of this game.

Short n sweet.. "Longing"

Knees of lead
too much to bear
They grope the ground
as pride's despair.
You've smiled
and I've found lost
A stunning discovery
at heart-rending cost.

Her

Elegant and enigmatic

Articulate and auspicious

I've lost myself within your labyrinth;

Twisted and turned

Stumbling and stupid

I'm relegated to redundancy.

Reciprocity an elusive reward

Mere words have wounded me,

As a deluge inundates a desert's parched denizens.

You've opened windows

On a wanton world of closed doors

Wafting your breeze of benediction.

Prostrate seeking predilection

I succumb to supposition

And oblige this adulation

Humbling myself to hope.